Sorry for the silence. I’ve been working on The Manicheans Trilogy, and am about to finish the draft of Book 2. I started writing this epic tale in 2010, only to take a break to focus all my efforts on Stories from the Underworld and 32 Seconds. I thought taking a break was a bad idea, and publishing The Manicheans was a pressing matter. I, however, thought wrong.
The story evolved into something much bigger, and much funnier too. I needed the experience of working on two other projects before diving into the trilogy again. I needed a fresh pair of eyes. I also needed to feel inspired again.
Not feeling inspired is the worst thing that can happen to any writer. Yet, it happens. I had to deal with the “no inspiration” phase for several months. I even questioned whether I wanted to keep writing. I stepped away from Twitter, Facebook, and focused on other projects. I needed to find my balance. I needed to find my rhythm. Life had changed for me, and my free time to write had become extreme luxury. I asked myself if I still loved writing, and I honestly had to take a good look at myself and my goals, before saying yes, I love to write.
Here we are a few months later. The draft of Book 1 was finished fast; Book 2 was more laborious. Book 3 will probably feel the same way, although I enjoy the prospect of completing the tale and editing it, preparing it for publication and releasing it for your reading pleasure. I know some have been waiting, maybe they forgot about me a little too, because I wasn’t in the spotlight as much. Trust me, I’m still here. My silence is only evidence of my dedication to the craft. True passion is only tested during harder times.
I’ve learned to be gentler with myself, and not stress over my work as I used to. I’m not trying to become the next bestselling author. I wanted to at some point, but not today. I only seek to write stories that resonate with me, that make me laugh, and cry. I leave the commercial stuff to authors who want to write commercial stuff. I have the freedom as an author to choose what I want to write about, why should I burden myself with topics that mean nothing to me? Just for the money? I don’t even have that state of mind with my day job anymore. I love my day job today, and in the past, I didn’t. The money was there though.
All I’m saying is don’t limit yourself by what you know, and think will make you happy. As an artist, as a human being, you get to experiment. Take advantage of this gift! Don’t let money dictate everything you do. Remember, what happens after publication is not in my power.
I can only worry about so much. I’ve written daily, a little bit, sometimes three words a day, but the work keeps growing. I give it my all anytime I can, and I live, I live life and experience it without guilt, without regret, because living makes me a better writer and a better person. The days where I didn’t sleep enough, where I had my head buried in the computer, hurrying, pressuring myself to release a book because I had convinced myself this was what I needed to do, are over. I take my time today. I have this luxury. This doesn’t mean I don’t do the work. I just enjoy it more. I don’t do it like a chore. I can’t. Writing must come from the heart. If it doesn’t come from the heart, then it’s a waste of time.
You’ll see me around soon enough. I can’t wait to share The Manicheans with you all.