Note to Self (126) To My Brother

I didn’t choose to be born. I didn’t make my father divorce your mum and remarry. I didn’t ask you to be my brother. Well, technically, half-brother. But does it really matter? Have you ever been a brother to me?

You hate me for unknown reasons. We live in the same town and we ignore each other. When I invited you to my wedding, you said you’d come and then you didn’t show up on the day of the ceremony. You didn’t give a single explanation. You didn’t apologize. You hurt me more than you can imagine. And I’m not even talking about how I feel about my half-sister, so your full sister. She did some pretty nasty things to me too.

Maybe it’s because we don’t share the same mother. But again, is that a valid ground to hold against me?

I’ve tried to bond with you so many times. And I failed.

You’re going through a rough time right now. You have cancer. This is time for us to be a family. But will you really care?

You refused a real talk.

I don’t even exist for you, do I?

It’s easier to move on from a dead friendship or a dead relationship, but moving on from family, it feels like nothing’s left in this world.

I’m really sorry we had to come to this.

At least I wish you strength in your recovery.

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