Note to Self (123) Words of Wisdom

There are days with and days without. Today was with and without. I got to write, make some progress on my novel and I also entered an argument with my former office mate. No name needs to be given. No details need to follow. I just feel awful and that sentiment won’t die until I put these words down.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry because I hurt you and I did it because I cared. If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have bothered. I should have known better and been wiser. I let the best of me go and for a few minutes, I turned evil. I hate getting mad. I hate raising my voice. I just wish none of it had happened, but unfortunately it did.

I hope you understand my lack of composure wasn’t personal. I seriously never had anything against you. My reaction was triggered by your negative attitude and your inability to understand your role in this environment. You’re surrounded by sharks. You have to learn how to walk fast, but instead you wanted to simply crawl and vegetate in a perpetual childish state. I can’t babysit you. I can’t protect you from the outside aggressions that will come your way. Someday, you’ll thank me. If you ever realize I wanted you good. I helped you. I did everything so you could learn from your mistakes and become a better individual. But will the truth of my feelings ever register with you?

This I don’t know. Maybe you’ll hate me forever. I did my deed. I did what I was supposed to do. I won’t be hated in vain if you really want to hate me, because today I showed you what it feels like to be an apprentice.

2 thoughts on “Note to Self (123) Words of Wisdom

  1. Darlene Steelman

    Wow – I really like this part: “You’re surrounded by sharks. You have to learn how to walk fast, but instead you wanted to simply crawl and vegetate in a perpetual childish state.”

    Sorry you are going though this.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s