Note to Self (13)

I’m scared. I’m on my own now and I wonder whether I’ll be ok. When I think of people who live with less than I what make I can’t help but ask myself, why do I freak out?

I’m killing myself at work, because I’m thirsty for more money. I’m not such a big spender… I’m thinking of getting rid of some designer bags I purchased while I was married because shopping gave me a sense of fulfillment at the time. I remember falling asleep dreaming about these bags, waiting to finally buy them because they were the only thing that made me happy. Now when I look at them, I still like them but I don’t feel the same need to have them around anymore.

Maybe they’re an investment. That’s what I kept telling myself not to carry the guilt of blowing thousands of dollars in one spree. I like to think that I’ve grown up and I’ve changed for the better since I don’t shop like that anymore. Being single again also forced me to slow down on the luxury expenses… They don’t quite fit in my budget anymore. It’s not like I can have a Vuitton instead of paying my rent.

I feel challenged by this new life I’ve chosen for myself. I can’t really tell what the future will hold for me but I can only hope everything will turn out for the best.

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